my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think my fart just growled at me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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