I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I want to be your penis for a week.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
