Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
