people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
COCAINE IS GR8
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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