You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
