I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
