She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
