Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize