It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
