I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
