I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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