weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
