He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Are we still banned from the library?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize