Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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