Having a random hookup so left but love u
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
