just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
