you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
