i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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