Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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