i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
