But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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