there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
