Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
