i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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