oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Randomize
