No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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