Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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