I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
