One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
