I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i came on her dog
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
