I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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