PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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