So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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