I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
