His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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