school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
