Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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