I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
