TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I smell like Dick and happiness
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
