dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
