we made out on top of his cat.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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