Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
The ass gains better be worth it
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