i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
