I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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