You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
