wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
