she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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