i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
