You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
