If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
