super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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