no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
