Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
