My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
