Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
