I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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