Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
