those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
