quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
