don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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