at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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