idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
