just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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